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Joke of the Day

"Apparently the USA is the biggest contributor to noise pollution in the world My solution: put a silencer in every school"

"Why doesn't the pope like the Higgs Boson? Because you can't have mass without him"

"Bioluminescent fry said to have a bright future"

"Donald Trump, Barack Obama and Putin walk into a bar.. and walk out after having a drink. What else did you expect they would do in a bar?"

"Oh, you have dignity? Well I have nachos. I win."

"Time is the coin of life. Only you can determine how it will be spent."

"If you stand in front of a mirror & repeat your top tweet 3X, your pretwitter self appears, smacks you & throws your phone in the toilet."

"What does Marilyn Quayle have in common with Marion Barry? They've both been known to blow a little dope."

"What did the band kid say to the other band kid after she found out he was cheating on her? ""You double timing son of a bitch!"""

"What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time? The Age Of Ultron."