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Joke of the Day

"I don't play guitar, but I sure would pluck your G-string."

"Why did the shell not go to the beach? Because he was self-CONCH-ious."

"are oranges named orange because they're orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange shit idk"

"In Russia, you don't vote for Putin... Putin votes FOR you."

"Holy shit, just invented the funnest work game ever. Go get on the phone with men but call them ma'am. Listen as they deepen their voices."

"What did the lawyer say after the short trial? That was a brief case."

"I bought an air filtration system on black friday It's already collecting dust in the basement."

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb Juan."

"Where do Jedi go to get inked? Tattooine."

"DUCT TAPE. Turning ""No! no! no!"" into ""Mmm, mmm, mmm."""