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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 apples? A senior high school math problem."

"Did you know Kurt Cobain's gun was named Success? It went right to his head."

"Why did the air freshener company go out of business? Because they lacked common scents..."

"""I was thinking of all the shit I hate, so I made a list of all the shit I hate"" *notices you don't care *adds you to list of shit I hate"

"My friend is concerned about his online dating luck... I told him not to worry -- There are plenty of fish in the net!"

"Friend: You're going to be an usher at our wedding. Is that okay? Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah."

"What do you call a fuzzy philosopher? BEARistotle I'm so sorry"

"just putting the facts out there 2 educate. personally know a guy who tried pot one time and he was mauled to death by a bear years later"

"FLIGHT ATTENDANT: sir calm down ME (having panic attack): sorry I've never flown before PILOT (over intercom): dont worry neither have I lol"

"Children Are Hereditary Children are hereditary... if your parents were not able to have any children, chances are you won't be able to either."