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Joke of the Day

"My friend is concerned about his online dating luck... I told him not to worry -- There are plenty of fish in the net!"

"Butt sex is a lot like spinach Even with butter, children don't like it."

"What is the worst thing about farming vegetables? The wheelchairs are too expensive."

"Asked my grandfather if he had anything equivalent to Victoria's Secret when he was young He said ""No, we had morals."""

"Forgot my Fitbit because it was charging and now it's like I walked for no reason."

"Why were the racist oranges upset when they checked out the small phonebook of their new city? Because it was mini apple list."

"Record ice and precipitation in the northeast and I'm paranoid that the government is watching me Because I am snowed in."

"*turns on shower* *shower whispers ""eat donuts for breakfast"" & ""get drunk tonight""* Me: Wow, that's some serious water pressure"

"Why'd you order the Fish n' Chips? For the Halibut."

"Every day is a holiday if you love yelling."