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Joke of the Day

"It was just yesterday where it was a requirement to say grace before every meal... Now the only importance before a meal is making sure you get glamour shot for instagram."

"I still can't believe it when someone in the bathroom stall next to me is talking on the phone I mean, who TALKS on the phone"

"What did the dad buffalo say when his offspring left for college? Bison"

"If you believe in the end of the world tomorrow... I'm going to keep making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow"

"Have you heard the watermelon joke? It's pitiful."

"I hate it when TV shows say they contain ""adult situations"" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills."

"What did the Gregorian monk say when he was kicked out of the monastery? Give me one more chants!"

"What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke warm."

"How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Four. One to change the bulb, three to stand around so he has someone to hi-five after."

"Nigel Farage gets his girlfriend pregnant.. Soon after the pregnancy test arrived as positive, he says ""My fatherhood ambition has been achieved. I want my life back"""