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Joke of the Day

"According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me."

"If Miley doesn't get her shit together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college"

"To take revenge, I'LL EAT CHINESE."

"So, a snake walks into a bar.... And the bartender asks in surprise ""how'd you do that?!"""

"""How do we hide Superman's identity?"" They asked. A man kicked in the door & yelled ""With glasses!"" & everyone started clapping for him."

"A horse walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bank. A horse drives a car. Welcome to horse country. There's shit everywhere please help us."

"Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin. The Gravity of this Situation."

"What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Hell's Angel? Someone that knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off."

"What did they call the man who knew how to read maps? A legend"

"What do you call Protestants who want to save a dime? Econoclasts."