83621

Joke of the Day

"To take revenge, I'LL EAT CHINESE."

"I made a joke about candy today... ... it made me snicker"

"Party Tip: At a 3-year-old's birthday party, you can piss all over the bathroom. ALL OVER!!!! Nobody will suspect you."

"A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer.... and a mop."

"What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? a trom-bone."

"Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend? A: He's the one with the belt buckle that matches the impression in her forehead."

"Just witnessed a white girl take a selfie with her coffee in Starbucks. I always heard the legends but never thought I'd see it in the wild."

"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? 30 pounds. (and then the female come-back): What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes!"

"If you stare in a mirror long enough and start screaming, you'll see angry faces of figures dressed in orange. *only works at Home Depot"

"Why was the lizard nervous in bed? He had reptile dysfuncton"