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Joke of the Day

"who wants some staples....... hold out your hands..... here they come [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ [ ["

Next Joke
 
"My wife is so weird She starts every conversation with *""were you even listening to me? ""*"
"One social worker asks another ""What time is it?"" The second replies, ""I don't know, I'm not wearing a watch."" The first says, ""That's OK, the important thing is we talked about it."""
"I bet Nutritionist-Dieticians instagram the food pyramid a lot"
"*helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That's a new shirt, let's put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous"
"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool"
"What goes vroom rrt... vroom rrt... vroom rrt... A blond at a flashing red light."
"A good prank is to rent a Mercedes, stick a huge bow on it, and park it in front of your neighbor's house"
"If you don't think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you're probably the boss"
"How do you summon a wizard taxi? CABRACADABRA!"
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