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Joke of the Day

"One social worker asks another ""What time is it?"" The second replies, ""I don't know, I'm not wearing a watch."" The first says, ""That's OK, the important thing is we talked about it."""

"Where would we be in the world without humour? Germany."

"My dog eats his puke and dirty tissues... but I point him to a mushroom I dropped and he gives me the ""what is this shit"" look."

"A bad builder blames his fools *Tools Fucking keyboard"

"I long for a slightly simpler time when old people with fifteen types of produce were too intimidated to use the self checkout"

"What's the worst thing about challenging an unjust law? Failing to get away."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... They try to have a nice evening, but are forced to leave since everyone is aggressively telling them that they are wrong."

"Held A door open for an Asian man today he said ""sank you""... He better not be referring to pearl harbor.."

"So there was a pediatrist... no, wait a doct- a... Gynecologist *that's it!* Anyway... I walk in and... ""Sorry, I fucked up the delivery everybody. Also, your baby is dead."""

"Our choices in U.S. presidential candidates. If nobody laughs, it would just be sad."