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Joke of the Day

"My wife is so weird She starts every conversation with *""were you even listening to me? ""*"

"I wonder what song The Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make that cute bikini top"

"What's long and black? An unemployment line."

"The makers of Dr Pepper are changing their recipe, using less expensive ingredients. The new soda will be called, Nurse Practicioner Pepper."

"Did you hear about the guy who didn't accomplish anything in his life? Neither did I."

"What happens when you put Nutella on salmon? You get salmonella"

"They are removing all the phones in china Seems too many Wings got the Wong number"

"Where did I get my scarf? It's a CVS receipt. You love it? Oh thank you very much."

"What is the difference between jam & jelly? I can't jelly my dick in her ass..."

"What is the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist? A catholic will say ""hello"" to you in the liquor store."