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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Unicorn and a cop who treats black people fairly? Nothing; they both don't exist."

"Hey, old people! Less driving, more dying. Thanks!"

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? [NSFW] The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. Didn't make this up, credit goes to the morning show I was listening to this morning."

"I like to do my laundry naked so that all my clothes are clean. Unfortunately, the patrons at the laundromat don't seem to agree."

"[At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money."

"The national bird of Syria is.. ..a drone."

"I got hit by a truck with a camouflage paint job. It came out of nowhere."

"YOU CAN'T BUY HOT POCKETS YOU CAN ONLY BUY COLD POCKETS YOU ARE EXPECTED SUPPLY THE HEAT YOURSELF DONT BELIEVE THE LIES."

"Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was assaulted."

"Why do potheads only steal from other potheads? Otherwise there's nothing worth toking."