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Joke of the Day

"A steak pun... ... is a rare medium well done."

"Emotions don't scare me. People who manage to hide theirs completely, do."

"I want to meet the actors who get turned down to act in infomercials. Then I would ask them how their brother Alec Baldwin is doing."

"3 gays in a hot tub A bubble of semen rises up, one looks at the others and says ""OK who's farted?"""

"What do you call cheese that is by itself? Provolone"

"I have a confession too Oprah. For years I have been stealing statuses from all over the Internet and passing them off as my own original thoughts."

"I don't think a single person at the office noticed that I shaved off my mustache. All I heard all day long was, ""Where are your pants?"""

"My wife said she's leaving me due to my obsession with breakfast cereals. I replied cheerios then."

"So... There was a kidnapping at my school... But don't worry-- he woke up."

"DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance."