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Joke of the Day

"[gameshow] me: [visibly doing maths on my fingers] ""17"" host: [looks at me weird] ""that's wrong"" other contestant: ""salmon?"" host: ""correct"""

"What's the difference between a priest and a pimple? Pimples don't come on boys faces till they hit 13"

"What is a East Indian child's favourite game? Hide and go Sikh"

"When your body is a solid 10 But your intro and conclusion need work"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Doctor: I'll be with you in a minute."

"10% luck... 20% skill 15% concentrated power of will 5% pleasure 50% pain 100% reason to remember *the game.*"

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven One looks to the other and says ""man it's hot in here"" The other looks back and says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN"""

"F**k censorship"

"How do you know if you have a tough mosquito ? You slap him and he slaps you back !"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic marathoner who would only eat shellfish the night before races? He was crabo-loading."