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Joke of the Day

"The cable guy said he'd be here sometime between 1:00 and April, 2016."

"What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates? Mom & Dad"

"I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight... to fulfill my fantasy... that we have health insurance."

"When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance."

"What do 9 out of 10 people call a good time? Gang rape."

"When I make Breakfast all I want is a ""Thank You"", Not ""Who are you and how did you get into my house"""

"One problem with autocorrect is that you always end up posting some thong that you didn't Nintendo."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy"

"Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because he was Haydn."

"Alzheimer A guy stands in front of a urinal with his hand in head hairs. ""I, definitely, remember it's somewhere in hairs"""