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Joke of the Day

"[wife talking to me on phone 45 mins after I go to play poker at friends house] ""stop crying for a second...what do you mean you lost me?"""

"Why did the farmer feed his cows money? He wanted rich milk."

"What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its hips."

"How is my sex life like a Ferrari? Imported and extremely expensive."

"""why didnt you come to the Halloween party?"" I was a black kids father for Halloween this year."

"Had a breakthrough with my therapist yesterday. Never seen a man cry like that before."

"Wanna Hear a Joke? Women's Rights. (jk)"

"Pranking the police A couple of pranksters broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, ""We have absolutely nothing to go on."""

"I'm on the fence about Hitler On one hand he killed 6 million Jews. On the other hand he did kill Hitler"

"So summer is coming up and i think I'm in good enough shape to pull off a two piece. The hardest part is just chasing her down."