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Joke of the Day

"[wife talking to me on phone 45 mins after I go to play poker at friends house] ""stop crying for a second...what do you mean you lost me?"""

"MC stands for both Medical Certificate and Mic Controller and they both give you License to Ill"

"Jokes about unemployed people aren't funny they just don't work."

"My Girlfriend Has Always Wanted To Wake Me Up With A Blowjob So today I woke her up with one"

"What do you call a Muslim with a piece of ham on his head Hamed... What do you call one with two pieces of ham on his head Morhamed"

"Where can you find best mother fuckers? In league of legends ~silver elo"

"Why does Donald Trump take anti-anxiety pills? To prevent Hispanic attacks"

"I'm not afraid of the Bermuda triangle or any triangle really. Even played at its most aggressive it's just not a threatening instrument."

"I treat my wife like a fine wine. I keep that bitch locked in the cellar."

"Why is Yoda the worst copilot? ""Yoda, are we still going the right way?"" ""Off course we are"""