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Joke of the Day

"Saw a monarch butterfly today, what made it special is that it was the first time it wasn't stamped on top of a strippers ass."

"People often ask me if weed hurts memory I'd tell them but i don't remember."

"What do you call it when two well endowed astrophysicists have a gay sword fight? A Large Hardon Collider."

"My fathers wife bought a ""Christian cookbook"" I didn't even know they had different recipes, I've been eating sin all along."

"Going out with two gay men tonight; I know they're my competition, but I've seen them consume bananas and I think I can take them."

"If I get a penny for every racist joke I make.. Black people would rob me."

"I'll refrain from making any jokes about the Ashley Madison controversy... They're such an easy target, it might be considered cheating."

"Mom, what's an orgasm? I don't know, ask your dad."

"Smoke detectors, feel free to use that last bit of battery life to continue monitoring fires instead of getting all beepy."

"What does a German woman dial when a man won't take no for an answer Nein! Nein! Nein!"