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Joke of the Day

"Q. How would you write do not touch in Braile? A. With copper wire and strong electric current. (read it in a shower thoughts thread)"

"What do you call a tree that hates this joke? A face palm."

"What do you call a trumpet on a leash? A trumPET *Edit Also why is this Marked Politics?"

"Why'd the farmer win the lifetime achievement award? Because he was always out standing in his field."

"What's the world's longest Ted Talk? How I Met Your Mother"

"Twitter: Tell me I'm funny! Instagram: Tell me I'm pretty! Facebook: Tell me I have real friends! Pinterest: Tell me how to knit a condom!"

"I hate when people put the beginning of the joke a second time"

"Golf is like life! It has it's ups and downs, but eventually you end up in a hole"

"I'm tired of this one night stand mentality in college... I have multiple lamps and alarm clocks, I need at least two night stands."

"Why was the blind guy always so happy? He couldn't see any reason not to be!"