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Joke of the Day

"Twitter: Tell me I'm funny! Instagram: Tell me I'm pretty! Facebook: Tell me I have real friends! Pinterest: Tell me how to knit a condom!"

"reflection on human being in the world there are two kinds of persons: those who finish what they started and those"

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me."

"What does a dentist do in his free time? Shoot lions."

"Why do they call them thunder storms and not lightning storms? Thunder storms just *sound* better"

"What's the difference between a bad coffee in Switzerland and a bad coffee in Italy? When you drink a bad coffee in Switzerland you say, ""Merci!""."

"""Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?!?"" ""Same thing that bag is doing in your tea."""

"The keurig machine at work acts like its going to give me coffee, but it turns off at the last minute. I feel like I'm getting brew balls."

"Apple CEO Tim Cook comes out as gay... No wonder the iPhone 6 won't stay straight!"

"If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember...You can always change your birthday on facebook!"