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Joke of the Day
"What do you call the exact opposite of progress Congress"
Next Joke
"Today I'm approaching teens dressed like I'm from the future, locking eyes, and saying ""Happy Presidents Day, sir"" with a wink"
"What's the only type of music that the balloon dislikes? Pop."
"So are we all just going to pretend that we didn't spend 2001 yelling, ""Whassup?"" at each other?"
"[Meeting] CEO: as u can see [points to graph w laser] we- BUSINESS CAT:[comes flying across table & just crashes right into a photocopier]"
"Why did Adele crawl under the cow? ...to say hello from the udder side. I'll take my Oscar now."
"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates... They'll kill your dog."
"When I was a kid my family was so poor my parents were forced to give my imaginary friend up for adoption."
"How many Orthodox Hasidic Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, ya mensch. It's Shabbat."
"Better living through chemistry Table of Elements: C = carbon Ho = holmium Co =cobalt La = lanthanum Te = tellurium CHoCoLaTe - Better living through chemistry!"