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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid my family was so poor my parents were forced to give my imaginary friend up for adoption."

"A modern recasting of Moses floating down a river in a wicker basket but it's a soccer mom forgetting her baby on the roof of her van."

"A young couple are in bed for the very first time The guy asks "" Are you nervous?""--- ""Yes "" she says.--- ""Is this your first time?""--- ""No, i've been nervous before"""

"Why are most selfies taken in the bathroom? Cause that's where the shit belongs"

"[sees baby drooling] um excuse me i am a person not a piece of meat"

"If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving."

"How do you greet people at a funeral? Mourning, everybody!"

"I named my son Gram It's short for Grammar because he was supposed to be a period."

"Handball :) Germany is now the handball European champion. But it seems it was the easiest win in Poland since 1939 for a german team."

"You know the joke about this guy playing with a loaded gun? Triggered."