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Joke of the Day

"What's the only type of music that the balloon dislikes? Pop."

"What's your stance on public intoxication? Mine is very wobbly."

"good baseball player nicknames if they weren't already taken: - batman - hitler"

"I lost my kid at the zoo the other day.... I couldn't find him, so they just shot all the animals."

"ER Doc: you know you could have avoided these 3rd degree burns by walking away from the explosion at regular speed Me: did it look cool tho"

"What do you call a man with a disfigured penis and a woman with a large vagina? Bendidick Cumbersnatch"

"i showed an african kid ""the human centipede film"".... he wasn't hungry anymore"

"I deleted all the German contacts out of my phone... now its Hans free"

"Just removed my bra, whipped it around my head, and tried to toss it away, but a hook got caught in my hair. Available for bachelor parties."

"Hear about the new book that teaches both reading and STD prevention? It's called See Dick Run."