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Joke of the Day
"For Lent I've decided to give up my New Year's Resolutions, now pass the Girl Scout Cookies."
Next Joke
"I accidentally swallowed some thread a few days ago, and passed it out today. I shit you knot."
"Teens are like the Magic 8ball of humans, they think they have all the answers & you want to shake them because what they said was stupid."
"That confusing moment when the person you hate at work brings donuts"
"What's the worst part of locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger."
"IF YOU LIKE THAT FACEBOOK STATUS SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU MARRY IT?!"
"A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken said.. ""dont do it man, you will never hear the end of it"""
"There's that moment when you put your steak on the grill and your mouth waters all over from that amazing smell... Do you vegans feel the same when you mow the grass?"
"What will the Easter Bunny be doing after Easter? One to three for breaking and entering."
"Daughter is acting so rude I'm not sure she's even mine. Think my wife may have cheated on me with YouTube's comments section."