145969
Joke of the Day
"My grandfather is buried in that cemetery... Boy is he going to be pissed when he wakes up."
Next Joke
 
"twitter getting rid of the 140-character limit is a bad idea. the ability to say what you need to say in as few words as possible is (1/533)"
"[Watching babies first steps] *turns to wife* Has he been drinking?"
"[me as a poltergeist] *putting forks in the spoon section of the cutlery drawer* ooooOooOooooo"
"What is the difference between an Israeli and an Israelite? Israelites contain about 20% less fat."
"How did michael hutchence take his drugs? Inxs"
"A Buddhist Monk walks up to a hot dog stand... ...and says ""make me one with everything."""
"What did Gimli say when his wife wasn't in the mood for sex? ""You're going to have to toss me"""
"When people are kissing in public, it's weird how angry they get when you try and join in."
"Policewoman: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Driver: Boobs."