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Joke of the Day

"I recently wrote a book about poltergeists.... They're flying off the shelves!!! (Credit goes to jimmy Carr on that one)"

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"You guys want to play that new Michael Brown drinking game? It's easy, you just stand there and take eight shots."
"I bought a toaster with variable browning control but all it will say is ""Take away love and our earth is a tomb""."
"What do Mexican parents and good reddit comments have in common? They have lots of children."
"My dad, a vietnam veteran, told me that there's one thing that always sticks with kids and adults no matter how old they are. Napalm"
"What drink does hitler hate the most? Juice"
"Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time? A: A dependent Claus."
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did; in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the other people in his car."
"Give a teen a basketball and he would have fun for a day Give a blind man a basketball and he would read it like a book"
"I'm not a racist Racism is a crime and crime is for black people."
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