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Joke of the Day
"Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time? A: A dependent Claus."
Next Joke
"When my wife said let's do something fun for our anniversary I had no idea she meant together. I'm a man not a mind reader. I forgive you."
"How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned."
"When those Subway ""$5 Footlong"" commercials come on, every man is quietly calculating how much his penis is worth."
"Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? one's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean."
"What did the doctor say to the injured gingerbread man? Why don't you try icing it"
"One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere."
"Teddy Roosevelt pickup line Ayy girl, Do you want to see my Big Stick Diplomacy in my room? ( )"
"I sure hope skinny jeans are still in fashion. After all the calories I consumed over the holidays that's what all my pants are now."
"""It takes 2 to tangle."" - iPod ear buds."