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Joke of the Day

"The South Carolina Church shooter didn't know if he could start a race war... ...but he decided to give it a shot."

"How can you tell a dog from a tomato? The tomato is red."

"Why can't Obama dance? Cause he has two leftist feet."

"I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop."

"I'm gonna kill anyone who says swag... ...They'll call it the yolocaust"

"Why did King Kong join the army? To learn about gorilla warfare."

"Why were the Native Americans here first... ...because they had reservations."

"I donated $10 to Bernie's campaign Don't worry ladies, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary."

"It would be funny if, with everyone freaking out about global warming we ended up dying in a good old 60s throwback nuclear war with Russia."

"What's 9 inches long, rock hard, full of semen, and the ladies scream at? my cock."