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Joke of the Day

"Well this is awkward. Apparently when my wife's friend invited me over for a play-date I was supposed to bring my kids."

"An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either."

"Judge gave man 60 yrs in Craigslist rape case & affirmed it's NOT ok to contact him with services or other commercial interests."

"A Priest and a Rabbi were walking down the street. They spied a young boy playing up the street. The Priest said to the Rabbi, ""let's go up and fuck that boy"". The Rabbi said ""out of how much""."

"For the life of me, I can't understand why small and medium pizzas exist."

"I woke this morning to find Mr.Mittens on the bed staring at me with a look that said 'You're a mouth breather, and I'll never respect you'"

"What's the difference between a soy bean and a chick pea? I've never had a soy bean all over my face."

"Where can you find a paraplegic man? Right where you left him."

"congrats Seahawks on winning the super bowl from all of here in the 3rd world countries"

"Why dont witches wear underwear? So they can get a good grip on the broomstick"