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Joke of the Day

"If you're not cheating on me, then why won't you let me install surveillance cameras in your house."

"Shout out to vegetarians for never having ant problems. All ant scouts find is broccoli crumbs and despair, and who wants to feed on that."

"What is DJ Khaled's favorite fraction? 1/9. Because, after the decimal, it's always another one."

"Why don't smart girls ever get pregnant? Because they use their head."

"How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink!"

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A brick to the back of his head should do it."

"Instead of looking for things that divide you look for things that bring you together, like the way you all look for things that divide you."

"Why do Yoda's jokes always suck? Says the punch line first, he does."

"I was on the street This guy waved to me, he came up to me and said "" I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else"" And I said ""I am"""

"How do you keep a slow person in suspense?"