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Joke of the Day

"I was on the street This guy waved to me, he came up to me and said "" I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else"" And I said ""I am"""

"Deathbed confession Me: We're bankrupt Him: What? How? Me: I lied about being able to fold fitted sheets. I bought new ones every time"

"Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super fun if you don't know what either of those things are."

"Where do suicide bombers go after they die All over the place"

"Know why the whole thing with hitler and the Jews happens Because he asked for a glass of juice but everyone thought he said gas the Jews."

"Some guy just passed toilet paper under the stall without me even asking. I'm not sure if he is a pervert or a wizard."

"Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard."

"What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff!!!"

"I think my doctor has OCD too... He diagnosed me with CDO."

"*pulls up to window* Me: *on phone* Ok, so you want a chocolate shake also? Ok, I'll get two then. *phone rings while its at my ear*"