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Joke of the Day

"Surely there's a 3rd option. Can't i just walk home? That can't be my only two choices? Ride or DIE? Seems a bit extreme."

"*Arrives to save damsel in distress* Me: ""Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your--"" Rapunzel: ""I have a boyfriend."" Dragon flying by: ""BURN!!"""

"My GF said she wanted to try in the other hole. I'm afraid she might get pregnant, what should I do ?"

"Why can't you barbecue in Amsterdam? Because the steaks are too high."

"Why do people always talk in absolutes? I would never do that. It's the worst."

"I was tired yesterday and now I'm tired again today I'm retired"

"If you're Russian when you go into the bathroom, and Finnish when you come out; what are you while in the bathroom? European"

"My left hand is dominant. Sometimes it spanks my right one."

"Are you lactose intolerant? If so, you won't be able to handle this cheesy joke"

"I heard the Daft Punk robots are headed to med school They'll soon be the Spin Doctors"