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Joke of the Day
"My left hand is dominant. Sometimes it spanks my right one."
Next Joke
"I started a petition to ban people from collecting autographs. So far I've got 50,000 signatures."
"I WANT TO LIVE! Patient:""Docter, I have only 30 seconds to live!"" Doctor:""I'll be with you in a minute."""
"What is so brilliant with a Arabian blow-up doll? They blow themselves up."
"What is the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on"
"Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident."
"Her: You have a cigarette machine in your kitchen? Me: Well it would look ridiculous in the living room..."
"Damn girl are you an alarm clock? Because no matter how many times I hit you you won't shut the fuck up"
"What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain."
"It's my life. I'll live it, I'll love it, and I won't care what you think of it."