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Joke of the Day

"Don't you hate when the whole movie theater's empty, but someone sits right next to you? I know you do, that's why I do it."

"What has two heads and six legs? Nirvana"

"Which disease do hobbits fear the most? The Bilbonic plague."

"What do you call a cow with its front legs missing Lean beef"

"How many fuccbois does it take to screw in a lightbulb? idk, you dtf tho?"

"Obi-wan: It's over Anakin! I have the high ground! Anakin:*Force pushes him out of the way* Obi-wan: Damn that completely obvious solution"

"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in."

"I wasn't sure if I'd find deer out here, until... I saw a sign that said 'Fine for Hunting.'"

"Is your girlfriend wife material? I'm building a giant wife."

"Why do football players only dance when good shit happens? Just once I wanna see a QB throw an interception & do a sad, interpretive dance."