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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow with its front legs missing Lean beef"

"I don't always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment."

"Why did the Tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing."

"What is the flattest surface to iron your jeans on? ...a white girl's ass! (I AM a white girl, BTW, so don't start with me about racism)."

"Who wants to play war? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!"

"It'd be nice if the pre-requisite to being a politician in the United States of America didn't involve being a lying sack of shit."

"A new report has concluded that dog owners are more outgoing than cat owners. Hardly surprising. You have to take a dog for walks."

"You hear about the guy who had his whole left side amputated? I hear he's all right now."

"Why don't the British make computers? They can't figure out how to make them leak oil."

"Your mother's vagina"