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Joke of the Day

"I'm naming my kid Johncena Because he was unexpected"

"Found a note on my door today that said ""You're Awesome!"" (: I'm the one that wrote it. But still... feels fucking good!"

"What do eggs say when they're turnt? Omelette, fam"

"I'm my own worst enemy, but there are literally hundreds of people tied for second place."

"My wife asked me if I wanted to be cremated after my death Or immediately before."

"A naked man broke into a church this morning... After a 30 minute chase, the police finally caught him by the organ."

"[after first date] Him: I had a great time, I'd love to see you again Her: Yes, we should do this again sometime but with other people"

"I met a Buffalo Sabers fan once."

"Dog shampoo was on sale & cheaper than my normal shampoo so it looks like I'm going to have a shiny, healthy coat for the next few weeks."

"How does a Mexican cut their pizza? Little Caesars"