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Joke of the Day

"Dog shampoo was on sale & cheaper than my normal shampoo so it looks like I'm going to have a shiny, healthy coat for the next few weeks."

"Where do pigs park their cars? A porking lot."

"Now I'm trying to see if I can hear the ocean - me, as a gynecologist"

"If there is not a open bar and a goddamn delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back."

"How do you get out of a Russian prison? You have Vladmir Putin a word for you."

"TIL: To never trust a fart."

"What do you call a family of Jewish robots? The Cybergs"

"Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground And I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off."

"A grasshopper hops into a bar... The bartender sees him and says ""Hey, we have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper looks up and says, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"Did you hear about the penny and magnifying glass who got married? Their wedding was magnifycent."