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Joke of the Day

"Found a note on my door today that said ""You're Awesome!"" (: I'm the one that wrote it. But still... feels fucking good!"

Next Joke
 
"Sexting gone wrong I accidentally sent a picture of my dick to everyone in my address book today. Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps."
"""Nobody move!"" - 19th century photographer"
"A man who forgets his wife's birthday is certain to get something to remember her by."
"Never treat someone like a saturday night when they treat you like a monday morning."
"Where you do see yourself in five years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"
"What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently? Americas already got two running for president."
"Crowded elevators smell different to midgets."
"One guy says to another, ""I feel like a million bucks!"" And the other guy says, ""Me, too! But how can we get it?"" Title."
"An old Scottish joke. What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing sings and Walt Disney."