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Joke of the Day

"Unreliable eye witness testimony is the reason chameleons are nature's most elusive and successful serial killers."

"This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd ""Shona baby"""

"Next time you're on a date and someone asks ""Is that your boyfriend or your brother?"" smile really creepy and whisper ""Both""."

"Johnny Depp has announced that he has a mental issue He has Deppression"

"If a quiz is quizzical what is a test?"

"What do your mom and a hockey team have in common? They both go three periods without a shower."

"If it takes 150 yards of stewed tripe to make a pair of leather britches for a bull, how long does it take for a double breasted cockroach to climb a bar of soft soap? You tell me and we'll both know."

"The human torch was denied a bank loan..."

"[Morning after wedding] *dead husband lies on bed* PRAYING MANTIS: [On phone] Mom *sobs* it happened again MOM: Ok hurry up and eat his body"

"Finally watched an episode of America's Got Talent and I disagree."