97665

Joke of the Day

"It might be good at board games, but don't let DeepMind handle your video camera. It's been known to trash Go Pros"

"The 3-year-old just held up some paper and said: ""Daddy, I'm reading the newspaper!"" Kids love dinosaurs."

"Kind of sad that old people, who have the least amount of time left, are the ones wasting the most time typing in ""http://www."""

"The girls I meet in bars have the worst pickup lines. They're like, ""Hey, what's your friend's name?"" Never works on me ladies."

"[interview] So what makes you qualified to be an x-ray technician? Superman: Are you being serious right now?"

"Husband: ""Waiter, my wife spilled her water"". Waiter: ""No problem, I'll get you another one"". Husband: ""Make sure the next one likes sports""."

"Watching Mickey's Clubhouse with my 4yo and even he's asking why the hell would a duck like Donald need a life jacket."

"A math joke What do you call a bag that never approaches anything? *an asymp-tote*"

"every night i whisper a hater's name into the wind and the wind whispers back, ""they just jealous... """

"A midget fortune-teller who escapes prison Is a small medium at large."