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Joke of the Day

"The girls I meet in bars have the worst pickup lines. They're like, ""Hey, what's your friend's name?"" Never works on me ladies."

"What's the difference between a terrorist training facility and a preschool? How the fuck should I know, I'm just the drone pilot."

"I decided to vote for the most presidential and least controversial person I saw on the debate last night... So I'm going to vote for Lester Holt."

"George Bush was trying out BDSM with his wife. George: Punish me baby, I've been a bad boy. Laura: Hmmm...what did you do honey? George: 9/11"

"What do you call a short physic that has escaped from jail? A small medium at large"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side."

"What is dry on the outside filled with water and blows up buildings ? A fish tank !"

"What does Tammy Wynette do to beat the heat? Stands by her fan."

"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest... It's hard to get up"

"Farmers are always so proud of themselves until you ask if they can put the milk back in the cow"