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Joke of the Day

"[interview] So what makes you qualified to be an x-ray technician? Superman: Are you being serious right now?"

"How does a Jewish man make coffee? Hebrews it"

"Cop: Where were you at the time of the murder? Me: I'd trapped myself in a Tupperware container Cop: Damn, that's an air tight alibi"

"The first caterpillar to turn into a butterfly must of been like YOOOOOOOOO"

"ME: Dave's coming over for tea WIFE: Dave from work or Dave I'm having a secret affair with? DAVE: *from inside wardrobe* I don't eat peas"

"So a cannibal walks into a hospital delivery room And the doctor says, ""can I help you??"" The cannibal says, ""I'll have what she's having."""

"I didn't fail my calculus test.... I just gave ""alternative"" answers on a few problems."

"What do you call a ghost that stays out all night? Afresh air freak."

"My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"Whenever Becky says anything in the breakroom, I just say, ""well, that got racist pretty fast"" and walk out. I hate you so much, Becky."