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Joke of the Day

"One day a guy named Matt banged a waitress and nine months later a mattress was born haha just messin around on this website."

"I went to a metal concert, the singer was a bit ill... Still fuckin' sick though!"

"Whats the biggest cause of child molestation Sexy kids."

"How do chinese people name their childre n? They throw a toaster down the stairs. *I realize this is old but I don't know how many people have heard it, so just spreading the joke*"

"Why did my Exotic Bird Startup Store fail? I didn't have enough seed money."

"How is a Buddhist monk and a bumblebee alike? They are both peaceful, but when pissed off have a tendency to burn."

"I see you're busy. I'll come back and ruin your free time."

"I'm all set for Friday night: got my mac 'n cheese dinner, 40 oz., 'Steel Magnolias' DVD, Twitter friends and tears."

"A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it? The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen."

"He slapped his two inches on the doctors desk. The doctor said ""What is wrong with it?"" ""It's swollen."""