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Joke of the Day
"I just don't have enough middle fingers for today."
Next Joke
"I TRADED MY ALARM CLOCK FOR A KOALA SO I CAN SLEEP UNTIL HE STARTS BEGGING FOR LEAVES WHICH'S LIKE 3 DAYS"
"I'm going to take all of your tweets that make absolutely zero sense and combine them to make a Red Hot Chili Peppers song"
"Ali was great but he was not the greatest... The best boxer that ever lived was reverend Jim Jones. He killed over 900 people with one punch!"
"My ex-girlfriend said that she misses me all time She also said that she's taking lessons to improve her aim."
"I recently wrote a book about poltergeists.... They're flying off the shelves!!! (Credit goes to jimmy Carr on that one)"
"WIFE- Without Information Fighting Everytime :)"
"What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out"
"Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends."
"What do you get when you kill a body of water in a comic book? A Deadpool."