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Joke of the Day

"Thou shalt not commit adulthood"

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"How do you pick up a Jewish girl? With a dustpan."
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away. That's the best plan healthcare.gov could offer me."
"People who like trance music are very persistent They don't techno for an answer."
"I bought a friend of mine an elephant for his room He said thanks. I said don't mention it."
"What's worse than 9/11? 311 Credit goes to my friend Max."
"I broke into and robbed a large shop in Ireland last week. I nearly got caught, the police had covered all the exits, so I escaped through the entrance."
"What do hip pigs call their ladies? Fine swine."
"Why did Laketown pass new emissions regulations? They had a major Smaug problem."
"Started my Matrix Algebra class a few months ago... I'm really confused so far. When do we learn about Neo?"