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Joke of the Day

"It was four months into my relationship that I found out my girlfriend was a communist She started giving me red flags"

"Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He would always stop at nothing to avoid them."

"A group of crows is called a murder. A group of people walking slowly in front of me at the store is called a motive."

"It's a damn shame when a man works hard all week then comes home for dinner and relaxation but has to work extra hard to get love and appreciation from his woman."

"Sex is a misdemeanor. The more I misdemeanor I get."

"I don't understand why subway has to train their employees. We do that for them everytime we order & tell them EXACTLY how to make a sub."

"How many Dubstep fans does it take to catch a fish? Three. One to fish and two to catch the bass as it drops."

"mom: no TV for a week! dad: and after you take a bath you can't use your hands to get out of the tub *sons jaw drops* mom: [whispers] nice"

"Trump is not going to be president of the USA for long He will leave the country for a younger and more beautiful one."

"What's innuendo? It's Italian for ""suppository""."