50130

Joke of the Day

"Your mom can deduct mouthwash and contraceptives as business expenses on her tax return. Because she's a ho."

"It's starting to look like Christmas in New York A lot of the stores have trees in the window"

"You say ""tomato"", I say ""flamingo"". I also put goldfish in my armpits. My opinion should be ignored."

"Change the last word of your favorite movie title to ""Impregnator"" e.g. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's **Impregnator** Transformers, Revenge of the **Impregnator**"

"What do you call a hip-hop trio with boosted Attack but hindered Special Attack? Naughty by Nature"

"Starting to fear that all the urgent work emails I LOL'd at and deleted earlier were not actually April Fools' jokes."

"Girl you got the brains of a seal. Wanna get smashed at the club?"

"What time is it in New York City? 5 past Lundqvist"

"What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest? Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton~!"

"Q: How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Actually agents will screw in just about anything."