200577

Joke of the Day

"Old high school classmate: Really? You're about to have your 4th child? Me: Are you surprised I like kids? Him: I'm surprised you had sex."

"My wife is a sex object. Every time I want sex, she objects."

"Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity."

"Two twins are looking through a family photo album ""It's not you, it's me"" They both say in unison."

"Her: Did you hear that eating curry can get rid of bad memories? Me: So I should take you out for Indian AFTER we have sex?"

"""And remember to talk to everyone like they're a 3rd grader."" - flight attendant manual"

"""What charities do you donate to?"" ""I mostly just leave sunglasses all over the world."""

"Peter Pan escaped the adult world... ...by becoming an alcoholic. He goes by Peter the Panhandler now."

"When a man opens a car door for his wife it's either a new car or a new wife"

"What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? ""Robin, get in the car."""