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Joke of the Day
"They told me it was love at first sight during their divorce proceedings. - Reasons why I drink"
Next Joke
"When driving: *shakes fist at pedestrians* When walking: *shakes fist at motorists* When running: *shakes fist at the murderer chasing me*"
"A Roman walks into a bar... He says ""I'd like a martinus,"" the bartender replies ""don't you mean a martini?"", the Roman replies ""if I wanted a double I'd have asked for one.'"
"""Church of England Formally Approves Female Bishops"". Congratulations British women! You can now move diagonally!"
"What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy? Julius Seizure."
"Why didn't the rock make it to work today? He was stoned"
"Tweeting with an egg avatar is like showing up to a job interview in a sweatsuit."
"Kid: Dad, what does ironic mean? Dad: Well son, when 2 people decide to get married on Independence Day....."
"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."
"FBI responds to increased number of botched investigations resulting in civilian casualties By adding a new definition for ""botched"" to urban dictionary; successful"