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Joke of the Day

"""Church of England Formally Approves Female Bishops"". Congratulations British women! You can now move diagonally!"

"""What's the biggest fish you ever caught?"" ""That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...."" ""That's not so big!"" ""Between the eyes?"""

"*Goes to bathroom *Reaches down to unzip *Discovers pants have been unzipped for the last 4 hours *Starts wearing underwear"

"I was dating a girl with a lazy eye. Unfortunately I had to break up with her because she was seeing someone else on the side."

"What did the guy Zebra say to the girl Zebra? Take ze bra off."

"My perfect score friend is allergic to alcohol He can't take anything that is less than 100percent"

"Golfer: ""I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course."" Caddy: ""Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth."""

"Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this."

"If you had to choose between your local WNBA team winning the finals and receiving $5..... What would you spend your $5 on?"

"ELI5: If Silicon Valley seceded from the US would they be considered a developing nation?"