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Joke of the Day

"""Church of England Formally Approves Female Bishops"". Congratulations British women! You can now move diagonally!"

"Swimming Is Good For You... Especially if you are drowning."

"If I could, I'd wear plaid every day. But I feel as though doing that would cross several lines."

"What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? bison"

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like a choir boy"

"""I love watching myself in the mirror while I shoot dope."" Said Tom in vain."

"""I'm sorry"" & ""I apologize"" mean the same thing unless... you're at a funeral."

"You could be a ""Before"" model."

"Why is Jabba so fat? Because he goes to Pizza Hutt a lot. Edit: Best flair 2016"

"I hate self-promotional people. They're so into themselves they probably don't even realize I have a new album available on iTunes now"