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Joke of the Day

"""Church of England Formally Approves Female Bishops"". Congratulations British women! You can now move diagonally!"

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"Swimming Is Good For You... Especially if you are drowning."
"If I could, I'd wear plaid every day. But I feel as though doing that would cross several lines."
"What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? bison"
"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like a choir boy"
"""I love watching myself in the mirror while I shoot dope."" Said Tom in vain."
"""I'm sorry"" & ""I apologize"" mean the same thing unless... you're at a funeral."
"You could be a ""Before"" model."
"Why is Jabba so fat? Because he goes to Pizza Hutt a lot. Edit: Best flair 2016"
"I hate self-promotional people. They're so into themselves they probably don't even realize I have a new album available on iTunes now"