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Joke of the Day

"She wants to share a Facebook account? Run."

"What's got two legs and bleed a lot? half-a-dog!"

"Why did Sherlock Holmes not want a second cup of tea in the emergency room? Because it was More ER Tea."

"Why does the fat chick give the best blowjobs? She closes her eyes and imagines she's having cordon bleu."

"What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps)."

"Netflix and chill is cool... But let's be honest guys, we know for most of you it's Netflix and Jill Edit: if you don't know who Jill is, take a look at your hand."

"Therapist: U need some tools to cope with ur anger Me: Like a sledgehammer? T: No. More like breathing- M: Fire? Can u make me breathe fire?"

"I'm in business running a celebrity lookalikes agency... ...I'm trying to acquire some more Chers."

"He already ruined your mascara, don't let him ruin your night."

"Teachers call me a fish because I'm below C level"