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Joke of the Day

"Why does the fat chick give the best blowjobs? She closes her eyes and imagines she's having cordon bleu."

"New to reddit so thought I'd start by sharing one of my favourite jokes. When is a pixie not a pixie? When he's got his head up a faeries skirt, then he's a goblin!"

"I used to love John Deere and Massey Ferguson... but now I'm an ex-tractor fan."

"I once knew a guy... I once knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking alcohol, eating rich food and sex. He lived healthy until he killed himself."

"What did the gay frog say to his bf? Rimit rimit.."

"CLOUD: wow im honored, no one ever flies up here to visit me up in the sky HELICOPTER: well im a gigantic fan"

"What did MC Hammer say to his wife when she caught him cheating? Can't trust this"

"Why didn't Trump drown? Because shit floats."

"Doctor: It looks like you're pregnant Woman: I'm pregnant? Doctor: No it just looks like you are"

"Anyone who says ""Let's all put our phones down and talk with each other,"" is just running out of battery and needs a charge."